The Unfortunate Imp of the Unperverse
by Sidura
Summary: Set after the Spawn must go on and Dog Diner Afternoon.  Who would have guessed that booking an Inn for a simple book convention was going to be so complicated.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay I'm sorry I apologise in advance I have two stories in the part that need finishing and an exam to study for and what am I doing posting this - I know I'm bad.**

**But see it gets the stupid idea out of my head and kind of well, I thought the story with Willow and the boys would end the future part of this verse. But then I watched the Real Ghostbusters and the GG episode with the Poe people and I couldn't help it, they just merged together with the stories I had written about Dean Forester being taken under various hunters wings because of his resemblance to Sam and him building a family in that world.**

****A family that, considering I technically mentioned in passing that Samifer crucified the poor boy with a nail gun (I'm not writing it all out because I tried once and it got icky even for me) during the apocalypse would include Chuck seeing how he probably would have a had prophet's eye view of the whole thing.  
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**So even though there is actually no real point to this tale apart from cringy giggles, here is the first half**

* * *

><p>"And this is the town square," Lorelai said as she made a sweeping gesture towards the gazebo. "Where I understand from your agent that you may wish to arrange some activities?"<p>

"No, not really," the obviously anxious man replied with a quick shake of his head.

"He just means him personally," the more officious of his companions explained as the other, more awkward, woman that accompanied them took in the town. "But trust me; the rest of the people staying will be taking part in the organised activities."

"This is a bad, bad, bad idea," the man mumbled.

"I'm sorry?" Lorelai said as he grabbed the woman's arm.

"I told you that this is a very bad idea. That town in New Hampshire and it has a great graveyard. You can pretend it is the one in Kansas," he told the woman. "Go back to the Lucifer stuff, or find a field in Wisconsin for the Leviathans?"

"Carver, don't be like that it will be a great selling point for the side series," she replied.

"Side series? There are only three books?" he said as the short blonde woman grabbed his arm.

"Is that…is that the…a diner?" she said pointing in the direction of Luke's, before letting go and breaking into a run.

"Becky, Becky!" he yelled as he started to follow her as she burst into the place.

"It is…well smaller than I thought," Becky said as her friends joined her.

"Well it's a small town," the small man said taking her arm to guide her out of the place.

"What do you want?" Luke asked the couple now standing in the doorway whose exit was now blocked by Lorelai and the woman in the smart business suit handling the clip board.

"Oh, I get it," the woman said. "This would be perfect! And you with the cap, if we could get him too."

"Get me for what?" a confused Luke asked.

"No! I said I'd come and look, but no," the small man asked before turning to the other member of his group. "Please Becky, it will only cause trouble. Pick another town."

The blonde woman bit her lip for a moment. "I guess we could."

"Carver, I know you do this every time we do a convention. This town would be perfect and we could…." The business woman said.

"If we are doing it here then we are not LARPing that story," Becky said firmly. "I won't write it."

"Oh thank god," the little man mumbled as Lorelai looked over at her confused husband.

"Well fine, but if the conventioneers find this place don't blame me if they don't feel short changed," she said taking notes. "I know I am going to be."

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. "This is a bad time to do this."

"A bad time? Carver, we need this. You aren't spinning out the same stories you used to," the business woman said. "If you want the cash to start rolling in then it is either this or stop censoring things."

"Censoring things?" he asked.

"If we have one more one of the boys on the verge of a mental breakdown tale or being thrown back in time for no point…I can't sell those, Carver."

He took a deep breath. "I hate it when you call me that."

"If it makes you act a little more professional I will call what I need to," She retorted.

His shoulders slumped. "I…I…I need a drink."

"It's only 10 am," Lorelai said.

"He can have coffee," the woman said pointing to one of the tables.

"What the hell was that?" Luke asked his wife as the three people got comfortable.

"I have no idea?" Lorelai replied. "But play nice, if I land them I book out the whole of the Inn for four nights in November."

"Four nights in November?" Luke asked as he poured three cups.

"Yes and if they come I think we can bring a bucket load of cash into the town too. Plus into the bargain they are going to drive Taylor nuts. They are into role playing and not the icky kind too."

"Role playing?"

"They are into some weird book thing and their games will need settings," Lorelai explained. "Carver there is the author and Sera; she's his publisher and agent, while Becky…well Becky is a fan who runs a lot of these things."

Luke looked over at the nervous guy who presently buried his head in his hands as he seemed to be oblivious to the small woman nervously apologising as she stroked his back.

"You sure they are clients and not escaped mental patients?" Luke asked as the woman Lorelai said was named Sera joined them.

"I'm sorry he does this a lot," she said to Lorelai. "It isn't anything against your establishment it is great and it will suit our needs perfectly. He's a bit hard to wrangle, but get Chuck or 'Carver' when he is writing and he is a genius. As for Becky and how she acted when she met you, she just likes everything to be perfect for everyone. She is kind of our torchbearer."

"That is fine," Lorelai said.

"But your town would be so right if I can get them to agree and you guys are willing to let us 'play' it could be our biggest convention yet!" Sera said to Luke as she picked up the coffee cups and re-joined her companions.

"I'm not going to play," Luke firmly told his wife.

"Maybe we can lease your image to them?" Lorelai replied jokingly as she watched Sera calm down the nervous couple who seemed to be arguing with her about the merits of Stars Hollow.

* * *

><p>Over the next three days when the three of them came into the diner, Luke left them alone as the publisher talked to the nervous pair who kept quite quiet although the awkward blonde woman kept glaring at him in something that could be described as a peak of anger.<p>

"How is the deal going?" he asked his wife and step daughter as they came in on her morning break one morning as the three strangers seemed to be engaged in an animated conversation.

"Fine, Sera is wearing Mr Edlund down, just needs time she says that is why they've stayed on," Lorelai replied. "But he is freaking people out though. Comes down to breakfast in his robe for starters, but at least he's wearing underwear."

"Writers, huh?" Luke sagely stated

"Me and Jess aren't like this guy," Rory protested defensively having been regaled over the past few days about Mr Edlund's exploits in the Inn.

"That reminds me, you sure it is okay if we hitch a ride tonight? What with the car being in the shop and you know what your grandparents think about my pickup" Luke said casually asked Rory. "I can get the boys after soccer practice."

"Should be fine," Rory said as 'Carver' got to the counter to ask for a cup of coffee.

"Hello Carver," Lorelai said politely, causing the man to groan.

"It's Chuck, just Chuck," he replied. "Please call me that."

"Okay, hello Chuck," Rory said.

"Oh you two haven't met," Lorelai said with a smile. "This is my daughter, Rory."

Chuck made a nervous little noise as Rory put out a hand for him to take.

"She's a writer too," Lorelai said. "But more features and nonfiction."

"Really," Chuck said distractedly as he turned round to see Becky giving him and the group at the counter a look that could kill.

He quickly turned round again to face Rory. "That is nice."

"I enjoy it," Rory said. "I believe you write what fantasy books?"

He swallowed. "Not fantasy."

"But you aren't you supposed to be playing Dungeons and Dragon type games if you guys come here?" Luke asked.

"Sort of, but not," he replied to the confused group.

They stood there hesitantly for a moment not sure what to say as an awkward silence descended on the group.

"So Chuck," Rory started to say. "What got you into writing, was it something you always wanted to do. Because it was for me. Though, I didn't end up covering the topics I thought I was going to back then."

Chuck took a flask out his back pocket, fiddling with the cap before getting the message from Luke's disapproving stare. He shoved it back in his jeans "I just wanted to eat and the stories wouldn't leave me alone so putting them down on the page was the only thing I could do."

"Oh well isn't that Edgar Allan Poe of you," Lorelai said with a smile as Chuck turned round to check on Becky's reaction to him taking so long only to be greeted by another somewhat angry face staring back at him through the glass.

"Oh no," Chuck mumbled as he straightened. He swallowed his fear as he watched for a moment before taking off at high speed.

"CHUCK SHURLEY! YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" Dean Forester screamed as he threw open the door to the diner and proceeded to vault over the counter and passed a very confused Luke to follow the small man.

"What the hell?" Luke exclaimed as a commotion at the back of his place of work seemed to escalate.

Chuck was throwing cans at Dean in a futile attempt to hold him off for a few seconds longer.

"It wasn't my idea. I'm trying to talk them out of it," Chuck was saying as he threw more and more produce and canned goods in Dean's direction, which he was easily deflecting.

"You were told not here, not Nebraska and not South Dakota," Dean was saying as he got closer and closer to the smaller man. Finally, pinning him up against the shelving.

"You shouldn't try and hurt me."

"Long time since they were watching your back Chuck," Forester said with some menace. "And even if they were I don't care."

"Doesn't stop them or him thinking it is damn funny to keep putting it all in my head does it?" Chuck said causing Dean to hoist him further off his feet.

"Please, don't kill me," Chuck begged.

"Dean, what the fuck are you doing to that guy in my diner?" Luke asked.

"Luke, this isn't your business," Dean said as he focused his glare on Chuck.

"Hi Dean," a small voice said causing Dean to grab hold of Chuck while spinning round, so holding the small man as if he was a talisman to ward off evil.

"Becky?" Dean said holding on tightly to Chuck.

"I told them no, I told them somewhere else," Chuck explained to the large man who was holding him hostage. "I've been trying, I swear I have but they won't listen and I even tried to get them to throw me out of the damn Inn."

"I didn't mean to…Sera really likes this town," Becky said with a hopeful but uncomfortable grin on her face.

"Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on?" Luke as the crowd in his storeroom seemed to grow to include Lorelai, Rory and Chuck's agent as well as others from Stars Hollow.

"I didn't start this," Chuck protested.

"Uncle Chuck?" Willow said as she fought her way through the crowd to the store room.

Becky bent down to look the little girl in the eye, "Oh, hello you."

"Becky!" Dean snapped dropping Chuck to pull his daughter towards him.

"I…." Becky started to say before Chuck cut her off by pulling her into a cautious hug as Dean explained to his child that she was supposed to stay with her Grandmother across the street.

"You and me are going to have a talk," Dean said to Chuck as he picked the little girl up as he made his way to the exit.

"Do we have to?" Chuck asked.

"Can someone tell me what is going on?" Luke asked as Dean brushed past him.

"Oh this is bad isn't it?" Becky said to Chuck somewhat despondently.

"I told you it was never going to be good if he found out," Chuck replied as they all looked confused at him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Had a quick read and thought that I can split the two part into a three parter if that is okay?**

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><p>"So he attacked the man for no reason?" Emily asked as she passed the potatoes to her daughter at dinner that night.<p>

Lorelai shrugged. "I have no idea why he did it."

"Who knows with Dean," Luke said. "I understand why that Becky woman freaked him out though, she is just odd. But his life is his business as long as it stays away from mine."

"Does seem to be staying away from us whenever he and his family are in town," Jess grudgingly admitted. "Well, most of the time."

"Chuck and Sera seemed more embarrassed about the whole thing than we were. Sera kept on apologising though I have no idea why. She wasn't to blame. Think even if we don't get the convention she probably will give us some compensation for what happened today."

"Dean should be paying for it," Jess replied. "And in front of his kid too."

"I don't think he planned for Willow to see him attack a writer the diner," Rory said causing the two small boys at the perk up.

"Is Willie visiting?" Alex asked to which Jess groaned.

"I don't know if she is going to visit you. As for you going to see her, we'll have to have a long think about it," Rory replied.

Jude pouted. "It wasn't her fault last time."

"Her fault or not, it is up to your parents if you see the girl," Richard explained to the small boys.

"Was the Angel there?" Alex asked to which everyone at the table rolled their eyes.

"So this guy knew Dean?" Jess asked the other adults at the table bringing the conversation back to the afternoon's event. "This pulp writer guy?"

"I'm not too sure," Lorelai said.

"Didn't you say Chuck's last name was Edlund?" Rory asked her mother. "I'm pretty sure Dean called him, Shurley."

Lorelai shrugged. "He's signed in at the Inn as Edlund and that the name on all his books."

"That means nothing," Jess stated.

"It could have been a case of mistaken identity on Dean's part and as for Mr Edlund, he seems pretty skittish. He was apologising to Michael this morning for all those feathers turning up in the linen closet." Lorelai said.

"What feathers?" Luke asked.

"Oh we found a load of feathers in the place we store the pillows. Probably one the new ones ripped and none of the maids are ready to own up. In fact I think whoever it was replaced it because we don't have any loses."

"What has that got to do with Dean chasing the guy down?" Luke asked. "Even with the crazy stuff the guy seems to be into?"

"Skittish or not, seeing, what, 200lbs of Dean Forester threatening to charge at you, wouldn't you run?" Lorelai pondered causing both Luke and Jess to look at her.

"Dean does look like he has…well been working out over the past few years," Rory admitted.

"Yeah," Lorelai retorted. "Sure look like he has."

"Really has he?" Jess said while looking at his wife.

"Jess can you please watch your tone at my table?" Emily said cuttingly causing a frosty atmosphere to descend.

"He was her Uncle you know," a small voice interjected after a few moments.

"What?" Luke asked as they all looked at Alex.

"The Angel," Alex said as he pushed the carrots round his plate. "The Angel was Willow's Uncle."

"Yes, you told us that before," Richard replied as Luke dropped his fork.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked as Luke went pale.

"Willow," Luke said quietly.

"What about Willow?" Lorelai asked.

"She called the nerdy guy 'Uncle' Chuck."

* * *

><p>Dinner in the Forester house was a little quieter than was usually expected as Willow was sitting quietly at the table as her Mother was trying to get her little brother to eat.<p>

"Okay, we're all going to be like that are we?" Jo said to all of them around the table.

"I just love being the middle of the gossip of this town, again" May said firmly to her somewhat embarrassed son.

"Mom, I'm sorry it is…." Dean started to say before slowly drifting off.

"Is what?" Randy said. "Aren't you going to explain why you felt the need to scare people at Luke's?"

Jo looked at Dean for a second before turning back to Randy. "He's sorry. He'll apologise to Luke and to Chuck tomorrow."

"I am not apologising to Chuck," Dean stated firmly.

"What are you five?" Jo asked.

"Becky was with him," Dean retorted.

"Who's Becky?"

"Mom," Dean calmly said. "She's just…. Chuck's friend."

"And that is a problem how?" May said causing her son to tense.

"Mom, I'm sorry," Dean said. "I just didn't expect Chuck or Becky to be there, talking to Rory and her mom."

May put down her fork. "Why is it you never seem to control yourself when Rory Gilmore is involved?"

"Mom! Rory had nothing to do with what happened today," Dean turned to Jo. "It wasn't like that."

Jo let out a laugh before she reached up and tenderly stroked his cheek before breaking out in a wide grin. "I know. Your ex-girlfriend has no effect on your life and hasn't for a very long time because I am your world and you know that you'll never find anyone else who'll put up with you. Though I can replace your butt in five minutes flat."

"Ahh, this is screwed up," Dean said.

"And while we were with Willow," May muttered, making Dean feel the full force of her disapproval.

"Actually your mom has a point," Jo said to Dean. "Technically, Becky hasn't actually done anything to you. So her being there shouldn't stop you from doing squat."

"Thank you Jo," May said.

Dean's face fell as he looked at the reasonable expression on his girlfriend's face. "I don't remember you feeling that way when you mouthed off about her and her site."

"She really doesn't have control over that," Jo said turning her attention back to her young son sitting in the high chair. "She stopped moderating it years ago and even when she did, you can't complain. I was the one that got painted out as an incompetent idiot who just wanted to split the guys up in my early appearances."

"If only that is what I got when it comes to the guys," Dean mumbled.

"Do you two ever make sense?" Randy asked somewhat confused to which the other two blushed a little.

"You don't want to know what we are talking about Dad and please don't make me explain," Dean admitted. "I'll apologise to Luke tomorrow, as well as Chuck, I suppose."

"Why Dad?" Willow asked her father. "It isn't like Uncle Chuck isn't used to you or Uncle Dean being angry at him for having the stuff."

"Willow, we are not angry at him for that," Dean explained his child. "We just have a difference of opinion about what happens with his 'stories'."

"But Uncle Cas says it is important for Uncle Chuck to do his work and he has to do his work."

"Sweetheart, you will understand when you are older," Jo said with a sigh before turning to her other half. "And you can't pretend forever the kids won't find out, even about…the fans and their tastes."

"Like they aren't going to be screwed up already," Dean reasoned.

"If whatever you are talking about gets to you that badly; quit that stupid world you two feel obliged to stay in and move," Randy interjected. "And don't go on about how we don't understand."

"Dad, if Chuck was only it, it would be easier," Dean said.

* * *

><p>"Just wait a minute," Lorelai said, running up the stairs as soon as they all got in the house.<p>

"What's she doing?" Jude asked to which Rory just patted her little brother on his shoulder.

"Sometimes we don't ask," she said as her mother returned carrying a handful of books

"What are you doing?" Luke asked.

"Research and you guys are going to help me," she replied tossing him as couple of paperbacks.

"Why?" Jess said as he caught one of the ones that were thrown in his direction.

"Because Willow called him Uncle Chuck," Lorelai replied. "Plus it would actually be very rude of me not to get to know what my perspective clients are into by failing to read the materials the agent sent me."

"I'm still confused why I have to read these things?" Luke said.

"Because you love me and you want to relieve my burden in any way you can."

"You still really want this booking?" Luke asked.

"It is four nights, the place would be completely booked plus the extras they were asking for. We do have the remodel on the kitchen coming up," Lorelai explained. "Also don't you want to know?"

"Know what?" Jess asked.

"Well, Chuck the writer and Dean Forester man of mystery now," Lorelai said. "Is there something in there that explains everything?"

"Everything?" Luke asked. "Like the whole mess that Dean's into now? Personally I don't want to know anything about what his friends are doing apart from the ones that threaten my family are in another state."

"Really? You guys aren't curious?" Lorelai asked.

"Mom, I think it might be best if you just leave it," Rory said as Jess flicked through a few pages mumbling how the book was no prize winner.

"You two don't want to help me land a big client because you are jealous that this guy has a following," Lorelai huffily retorted.

"Sure I am and you are really interested in what this guy does. You thought this Edlund guy wrote fantasy books, when it is pretty obvious he writes horrors about Fabio and his guy friend," Jess said gesturing to the cover of a couple of the books. "Bet it goes down big with the Twilight and homoerotic crowds."

"Jess," Rory curtly, ushering the two boys out of the room.

Jess sighed as Lorelai stood firm from her place on the stair case. Luke huffed for a second. "You aren't going to let this go are you?"

"No, so you two start reading," she said.


	3. Chapter 3

Last one - finally. Sorry it is a bit late, real life got in the way. Know there isn't much point to the tale but hey I had fun writing it so sorry if it confuses anyone else.

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><p>The banging at the front door woke them up, banging at 3 am.<p>

"Dean," she said nudging him in the side.

"If that's your mother, tell her it's a bit late to take in any of her strays," he mumbled as he rolled over.

"We're at your folks," Jo replied. "Or have you forgotten that?"

He moaned his response before he sat up. All the while the banging continued.

"You keep saying Stars Hollow is a nice little, normally insane, town, the majority of the time," she said closing her eyes. "And it isn't like I'd know who'd be at the door."

"Fine, but you take Ash when they wake him up," Dean said fumbling around for his pants.

"Great, you get the easy job," Jo mumbled slowly as she got out of bed to head to Clara's old bedroom just as the baby started screaming in protest about being disturbed.

"So much for a hunter always being alert and ready for anything," Dean said with a smile as he watched her only to be flicked the bird.

"I'm on vacation," she retorted as Dean headed to the landing only to be followed out by his father.

-o-

"The noise isn't my imagination then?" Randy tiredly said rubbing his eyes as the knocking intensified.

"No, but you got any idea who'd be at your door?" his son asked as both men headed down stairs.

"No, do you?" Randy said with somewhat an accusing tone.

Dean shrugged, half-heartedly as his father opened the front door to his home.

"You bastard," Jess said pushing passed Randy to launch himself at Dean.

"Jess!" Rory yelled as her husband hit Dean in the face before Luke grabbed his arm.

"You sick, asshole," Jess yelled.

"Jess, please," Rory said while Randy could do little but watch on.

"Don't," Jess yelled angrily. "He is not getting away with what he did!"

"What?" Randy angrily asked before looking at Luke. "And whatever the hell it is, get your nutcase of a family out of my house."

"Dad, it's okay," Dean said sniffing for a second.

"No it is not okay," Randy said. "I'm calling the cops."

"Dad, we can deal with this ourselves," Dean said before adding in a jokey tone. "Willow can hit harder anyway."

"Jess, stop it," Rory said as the younger man started to squirm in his Uncle's arms, reacting to Dean's obvious attempt to calm his father down.

"He is not getting away with what he did!" Jess yelled.

"We aren't saying that he should be given a free pass," Luke stated. "Just now isn't the best time to do it."

"So when is the best time to come bursting into my house to attack my family, Luke?" Randy asked to which the other older man couldn't give a reasoned answer.

"Ask you fucking perv of a son what he did, why we're here" Jess yelled. "There are laws you know."

"So you read them huh?" Dean replied with a weary sigh.

"Yes, we read them," Rory said tearfully. "Everything is in there Dean, everything. How could you tell a writer and a schlocky horror writer at that? How could you let someone write about us?"

Randy turned to his boy. "What are these crazy people on about?"

"Dad, if it was only a case of me telling Chuck," Dean said sarcastically. "And believe it or not those books are the ones that aren't too bad."

"Too bad?" Jess said. "You sick bastard, you…you think it isn't too bad."

"If you are talking about the parts I think you are talking about someone rewrote them to spice it all up. It wasn't like what was in the book and no-one apart from a handful of people know it is me and Rory," Dean explained causing Jess to completely lose the plot and make a grab for a lamp which seemed to illicit a metallic click right behind him in response. Which in turn seemed to garner the attention of everyone else in the room.

"Now whoever you are, can you calm down?" Jo said gun in one hand and fussy toddler in the other. "Because there are children in this house trying to sleep and I don't appreciate it when someone I don't know thinks that it is okay to wake them or their grandmother up."

She gestured to Jess to put down the lamp and to sit down. "Now we can discuss this like adults, but if you aren't capable of that you can think about leaving after apologising to Randy here, for you having the need to disturb his grandson."

"Jo, come on," Dean said as he watched the collective horror on the faces of the residents of Stars Hollow although Jo continued to train her weapon on the now seated author. Dean sighed. "That is Jess, Rory's husband?"

"Oh okay," she said lower the gun, before bouncing the child in her arms to try and sooth the little boy, before looking round the rest of the faces in the room. "Guess this is Rory and…?"

Dean nodded. "Yep and her step father."

"So they just finished reading them, then?" she asked.

Dean nodded. "Some vacation, huh?"

"Well you couldn't just have left Chuck alone, could you?" Jo said. "They probably wouldn't have put it all together if you hadn't done that."

"Fine, it is all my fault," Dean replied as she looked at the collective group of confused faces gathered in Randy's front room.

"Next year we can all go visit your sister?" she said with a chuckle to Dean.

"Which one?" Dean asked.

"The one who knows Chuck," she said.

"You just want to go to Maui, don't you?" Dean said lightly.

"And take advantage of Clara's condo near the beach, damn straight I do," Jo said as the rest of room continued to focus on the weapon in her hand something that didn't go unnoticed by Dean.

"I thought we decided not to bring an arsenal with us?" Dean asked Jo.

"It's not an arsenal and you know what can happen if we go anywhere naked?" she explained causing the room to look at her.

"Not like that," Dean explained moving to take the gun out of Jo's hand.

"You are such a girl," Jo replied as she bounced the little boy in her arms.

"Well someone in our relationship has to put in more than the appearance of one from time to time," Dean said.

She raised an eyebrow at him for a moment. "Really?"

He smiled at her for a moment before turning to face Rory.

"I didn't tell Chuck anything. Yes it is us in there, but believe it or not he's gone into a lot more detail about… but that was before he…. Rory, I didn't tell him about you or about the affair or any of it. His publisher wanted a back story for the character and he…."

"Just came up with our whole relationship including…" Rory said

"I know the sex parts aren't…"

"Sex parts? Dean, what are they talking about? And isn't Chuck that writer from this afternoon?" Randy asked. "Oh, Dean. You didn't drag that entire thing up, again?"

"Randy, it isn't what you think," Jo explained.

"Dad, I don't know how many times I can say this," Dean said. "I didn't tell Chuck anything."

"Then how does that guy know about how I lost my….?" Rory said before beginning to blush as she pulled away from her family.

"I…it's…I didn't tell him anything," Dean repeated.

"How could you and my mother Dean, my mother had to read about us trying to…in the car and …at Miss Patty's. It's in black and white Dean for all to see. But those times were private," Rory said tearfully. Dean took a step forward to comfort her only to be held back by Jo.

"Dean, don't. It's best they don't get it," Jo said. "They won't want to know."

"Know what?" Luke asked.

"Know that he is a sick pervert. I think we all know that now," Jess angrily added.

"Whatever it is can we do this in the morning, when everyone has calmed down a little? Randy said "And when some of us get an idea of what the hell is going on?"

"What is there to explain, Randy?" Jess said taking the paperback out of his pocket before tossing a book in Randy's direction.

"Woodrow there has a hard life where some girl plays him continuously. A girl who breaks his heart and doesn't leave him alone when he's married and who he breaks up with his wife for, even though he's was pining for her," Jess said to which Dean sighed.

"We all know exactly what happened back then," Dean replied.

"Yeah, but now we have a poor 'Woodrow' in an X rated version on sale for 6 bucks and change," Jess angrily said.

"I don't have any control over him. If you think I did, do you think I would have let him write me as a stupid weak sap that didn't really grow up until I moved away from here? That I'd let him and Becky talk about having a convention in this town?" Dean protested. "Besides it took us long enough to get him to stop writing about mine and Jo's sex life and the guys have the same problem. The only time he really cut it out without being told was during that time with Sam becoming a blood junkie and that was because he was trying to make Sam look more sympathetic."

"Your friend Sam became a what?" Randy said.

"It isn't exactly like it sounds," Jo said to which Dean just gave her a look.

She tutted."You are not exactly helping your friend here."

"Sam's the first to admit it was the most stupid thing he ever did," Dean retorted before turning to his father. "But there was a lot of other things in play when that happened to Sam and reasons Chuck cut that out of the books."

"Randy, can we all talk about this in the morning?" Jo said.

"No." Rory said. "I want to know why you told someone everything about us. How could you? I want you to tell me so I can go back to my Mom and explain to her why she had to read that stuff while my brother and my son were in the next room!"

"Yeah, Dean why?" Jess angrily said. "Why the fuck did you do it? Are you going to tell us or is it that you just get your kicks out of it you fucking perv."

"Hey, I get you are upset, but watch your tone," Jo replied to which Dean tried to calm her down.

"No Dean, sex story or not, they don't have the right to wake up our babies and then for him to use language like that about you in front of them. Especially just so they can get an explanation to take back to someone who I'm guessing is watching over their sleeping kids," Jo said.

"I know," Dean replied as Jess suddenly seemed to get that there was an upset little boy being craddled in his mother's arms.

Dean turned to Rory. "Look, I told you I didn't tell Chuck anything."

"Then how did he know?" Luke asked calmly.

"If you didn't talk to him. How did he know about Candyman about what…about everything?" Rory asked.

Dean ran a tired hand over his face. "You don't want to know."

"Why don't you guys get home and we can discuss this tomorrow?" Randy said to everyone before glaring at his son.

"We aren't going to duck out if that is what you are concerned about," Jo said.

"Fine, but you, Woodrow are going to talk," Jess said. "Bodyguard or not."

"I didn't say I wasn't, did I? And Jess, Jo's a lot more than my bodyguard so just keep you're shots at me," Dean said putting an arm round Jo as the group got up to leave, when there was a knock on the door.

"What now?" Randy said as he went to move to open the door to find a small beard man and two women on his doorstep.

"They threw us out of the Inn," Chuck explained bag in hand.

"I wonder why that might have been?" Jo said as Sera started to stare at the two of them.

"You told her?" Dean asked Chuck.

"As much as she can understand," Becky explained as Sera hesitantly stretched out a hand before pulling back in awe.

"You're…?" Sera started to say before grabbing hold of one of Dean's hands to look at the faded scar on it. "No I…and I told him that it needed more blood and pain. I'm so sorry."

"No, you are not a God you aren't responsible for what happened to him, you just publish their lives…in the gospels I mean," Chuck said in a voice that seemed to imply that this was a conversation that they had been having the whole ride over here.

"But he's Woodrow," Sera said.

"It's Forester actually," Jo said causing her to come under Sera's gaze.

"And you, you were…the murder castle."

"I wouldn't be so stupid these days," Jo said before Sera focused her eyes on the fussing child in Jo's arms. "Is this…no, no it can't be because that was years ago."

"No it isn't, she's upstairs with her Grandmother right now," Jo explained causing Sera to nod.

"She's taking it quite well, don't you think?" Becky said to everyone else before swallowing uncomfortably in light of the glare she received.

"This is unreal, this is so unreal. Because that means if they are real…OMG, OMFG, they are real aren't they and then their whole lives," Sera mumbled as Chuck fumbled in his bag and handed her a quart of Jack which she proceeded to down.

"You carrying large bottles around now?" Dean said with a sigh.

"It's the only way I can sleep," Chuck said. "Unlike some people I don't have the luxury of having enough time off to find another way to get though the day."

"We have got to do something about that," Jo said to Dean as Jess stood up to walk over to Chuck before coming face to face with the socially awkward blonde.

"Don't you say a word to Chuck, quasi... relationship… wrecker," Becky said.

"What?" Jess said.

"Oh, I know all about you," Becky said. "Chuck told me all about it; Dean was too much of a gentleman to tell me."

"Becky!" Dean snapped. "Leave them alone."

"If they leave Chuck alone, he isn't to blame for what that Teflon homewrecking princess over there did!"

"Telfon Princess?" Rory asked before turning to Dean. "Is that what you think of me?"

"No, it is what Chuck saw you do," Becky stated.

"Saw?" Luke asked.

"Becky," Dean mumbled under his breath. "Pot, Kettle remember."

"I hardly think drugging someone so they'd marry you and having an afair with a married man compares." The voice in the corner of the room said.

"Oh, SHIT!" Jo exclaimed as they all turned to look at the corner of the room.

"Come off it, it's my parents' house," Dean protested.

"How, who?" Randy asked.

"I was summoned." Balzathar said as he stood there leaning nonchalantly on the wall as the chaos unfolded around him.

"No, no, no," Chuck started to mumble grabbing hold of the remnants of the bottle of booze that Sera had been drinking.

"Oh no, not by the prophet," Balzathar said walking over to take little Ash out of his mother's arms.

"Balzathar, give me back my son," Dean said cagily before taking the baby out of the angel's arms.

"Oh please, like even if I wanted to I could never hurt this, little, ickly, cutey pie," the angel said as he started making cutesty noises in the baby's face.

"Like I trust an angel?" Jo said.

"An angel? Like in…" Sera said before passing out in the middle of Randy's living room floor.

"Oh, that is interesting," Balthazar said before turning his attention elsewhere. "Joanne, you know what the absentee landlord decided regarding how he thinks me and my brothers now have to learn about the complexities of free will. Until you can make him decide to change his mind you are stuck with me or at least until your boy can talk."

"You're another angel?" Rory asked. "Like the one who took the boys?"

"That was his brother," Dean answered her turning his attention to Balthazar. "And what do you mean that Ash summoned you?"

"Well darling, I was busy with…well ménage a…I forget the number and then all I can hear is little Ash in my head going on about how a noise has woken him up and now the milky one is cranky because someone has hit the one who takes away the poop," the angel said before adding. "You really have to get the child to understand the mother and father thing."

"Why couldn't you have just stayed dead?"

"Ask my father, that is when you see him or more importantly if," Balthazar said. "It would be funny if he actually got that father issues are somewhat helped by actually having a father around, not tying us to a family of hunters that seem to have fewer of them than most. Well that is until that woman pops out the other one's twins."

"Really?" Jo asked hopefully.

"I said maybe; don't get your hopes up. As much as Cas will push for us observing the next generation of Winchesters you know Dean's likely to screw those children up somehow, plus get pissy with us about learning from them," Balthazar said to which Jo mentioned something about leaving people in peace. In turn the Angel seemed to ignore her turning around to look at the upst people in the room. "Oh, these aren't the ones that woke him up are they? Let me guess, seeing how the prophet is here, I take it the books have upset them?"

"When don't they upset someone?" Chuck said to which a confused Balthazar just shrugged. Jo took the baby out of Dean's arms before ushering the small man up the stairs. "Let's find you somewhere to sleep."

"Fine. It looks like I am of no use now, so I'll be going," Balthazar said before suddenly disappearing.

"What the hell?" Randy exclaimed before Balthazar suddenly reappeared to peer at Rory.

"I thought I recognised you, hard to tell withn you wearing clothes," he said. "You have to let him know what you thought of the rewrites I did."

"Balthazar!" Dean said .

"Sweetheart, I told you teenage fumbling, even of the adulterous kind in kinky areas doesn't shift the volume we want without some garnishing. Even if it is just for the backstory of the sideshow and not the actual main event, but then again no-one had to add sprinkles to that aspect of their lives," Balthazar explained causing Dean to glare with more seething rage than the man had previously mustered before the angel unceremoniously disappeared.

"Prophet?" Luke said. "That guy called Chuck a prophet."

"Surprise?" Dean replied.

"A prophet as a prophet of the lord?" Rory asked. "And he wrote all about us and an angel did rewrites?"

Dean coughed. "Yeah, kind of"

"That means…" Rory started to say before bursting into tears.

"Hey, we are just a side show," Dean said soothingly. "Just to get people interested in the main part of the tale. What happened with Sam and Dean. They are the main event and believe me some of the stuff that they get up to makes what we did look like a walk in the park, so Chuck's readers really tend to brush over everyone else. The publisher just wanted to fill in the blanks with all the side characters so I got a book and so did Bobby and so did Jo and Ellen, but with me he has to use a made up surname. As for Balthazar he just embellished the stuff about us so it would…sell."

"No, no," Jess said. "That is bullshit."

"I wish because it would mean you wouldn't have burst into my Dad's place, would you?" Dean said causing Jess to back down. He looked down at Becky who was trying to revive the unconscious publisher, who seemed to bolt upright for a moment to exclaim about how that meant Lucifer had walked the earth after the seals had been broken, before passing out again.

"You can take the couch?" Dean said to Becky to which her face fell.

"I…" she started to say before Jo yelled down the stairs about how they needed to sober Chuck up as he had started to ask if they could go hunt down a couple of atheists, because it wasn't fair that they weren't right.

"You really want to be upstairs with him right now?" he asked.

"No, not really," she said with a shake of the head before glaring at Rory. "Even if she's here."

"Great, I'm the whore of Babylon," Rory said in response.

"No you're not, she's dead. You're a Jezebel," Becky retorted.

"Becky, thanks for trying to defend me in your...way," Dean said. "But, I'm not Sam, remember?"

"I know," she protested, before softening her tone a little. "Anyways I'll stay down here because Sera needs someone to take care of her."

"Thank you I think," Randy responded. He turned to his son with a questioning look, to which Dean just shrugged.

"You said you wanted us to visit here more?"

Randy rolled his eyes before looking around at the crowd gathered in his living room. The despondent Rory sitting on his couch with her other confused and angry family members while the strange girl dealt with the unconscious woman lying on his floor.

"Yeah, I did, didn't I?" Randy said.

Dean smiled. "Well, I told you to be careful for what you wished for."

"Yeah you did. But now I know that a 'prophet' and an 'angel' wrote about you in a book?" Randy replied. "And to think there were people in this town that thought you wouldn't amount to anything."


End file.
